Killing at Herald-Square

Scores of pedestrians watched in awe as a seemingly deaf, dumb, blind, crippled, old and decrepit rat miraculously made its way across a busy 34th Street at the height of rush-hour – over a 10-minute period, narrowly avoiding several near-death incidents. Despite the presence of a large audience, the rat had gone unnoticed by an equal sum of pedestrians as it finally …

Wanted

An extensive investigation into the whereabouts of missing billionaire Chris Cringle has left authorities utterly clueless. Cringle, last seen when this photograph was taken, claimed to have entered a state of severe depression after losing his North Pole mansion to foreclosure and filing for bankruptcy — but recent evidence uncovered in a dispute with retail giant Toys-R-Us indicates Cringle may have …

The Sydney Economy

Amid fears and forecasts of a global recession to hit in the year 2012, the City of Sydney has launched a public awareness campaign — purpose-driven to demonstrate the health, wealth and strength of its bustling economy. According to Prime Minister Julia Gillard, the campaign is set to launch within days and will focus on highlighting some of the many …

Near Escape Failed

Police were on the scene as a woman narrowly avoided a shot to the head at point-blank range, only to be hit by a nearby Sniper. According to witnesses, The Sniper casually walked away from the scene with no arrest taking place. In an anonymous statement allegedly traced to an IP Address within the NSW Police Department, someone wrote: “officers …